Forgiveness is not about fault

It is in our human nature to look for a place to assign blame, to place fault. When things happen that we can't or don't want to understand it is our instinct to find fault. This fault and blame only leads to bitterness and resentment.

As humans it is also our nature to take sides. When we only know one half of the story, we will always side with those closest to our hearts, right or wrong.

For more than a year and half now I have found myself nuturing this pain and resentment, letting it fester and find its home in a place where it probably doesn't belong. Though I know that in no way were the unthinkable events a direct consequences of the actions I blame, there I lay the fault.

It's time to let it go, to move on, to forgive. I realized that forgiveness is not about fault, but rather about letting go of blame. Sometimes we have to forgive people for things that were not their fault, simply because we have assigned them the blame.

Forgiveness is not an easy process. It takes a lot of time and a lot of healing, but it can also bring relief and healing.

Though you will never read my words or even perhaps know they are directed to you, I say this for my benefit...I forgive you. I am letting go of the blame I have placed on you, whether right or wrong. It's not about that. It's not about being right or winning. It's simply about doing right. The bitterness I've held has never affected you, only me.

And so I'll say one more time, I forgive you. Forgiveness is not about fault, but rather about letting go of the blame.

Forgive and forget. Relive and regret.