Mission to Cap-Haitien, Haiti

Mission to Cap-Haitien, Haiti
June 18-26, 2010

I will be going on a mission trip to Cap-Haitien on the northern coast of Haiti. We will be hosting 3-4 free medical clinics in the area and also working with an orphanage there. I am going with a group of people from Abilene, San Antonio and Dallas. We will have two doctors, nurses and possibly a pharmacist with us.

I need to raise about $850 in trip costs. This is for airfare to Haiti and accomodations while we are there. We are asking nothing of the Haitian people so that we completely giving to them. Any funds I raise above my trip costs will go to medical supplies, items for the orphanage or the fund for others' trip costs. You may specify how you would like your funds to be used and I will do my best to get them to the right place.

Even if you cannot contribute financially, your prayers and encouragements are greatly needed.

Donations can be tax deductible. To make a tax-deductible donation, please make checks payable to Southern Hills Church of Christ. I will collect all money to ensure it is deposited in the appropriate fund.

To donate using credit/debit cards, please use the PayPal link below.

Thank you in advance for your generous support.

Weather-beaten, but still standing

I didn't know how to get from Houston to Shreveport. I wasn't sure how long it would take or if there was even a convenient route to get there. So I turned where all hip people turn to get directions - Google map.I searched "Houston, TX to Shreveport, LA."

When it brought up the map and directions, I just sat there staring at the screen for a minute, not really sure what emotions to feel.The computer was telling me to take Highway 59 out of Houston and north to Carthage. This meant driving north through Livingston and Lufkin.

It also meant driving past two wooden crosses.

After my friend Josh Bigby was killed in an automobile accident three years ago, his mom, Pam, asked my dad to make two crosses for the crash site. One for Josh and one for his cousin who had been driving.

The first weekend in March 2007, my family packed up the van, gently loaded two white-wooden crosses and headed towards east Texas.On the way there, just as we were crossing the lake, a volunteer fire truck came screaming past us. I cringed. As we got closer, there were more lights and more sirens. There was a car still on fire. There were the sounds of the jaws of life. There were people running to the car screaming and then walking away relieved. There was the sound of a helicopter landing. And there were tears. Tears that came for the entire hour that we were forced to endure a situation that hit way too close to home and struck a nerve still very raw. I cried and I wondered...is this like that night.

The next day, we took the crosses out Highway 59. At the intersection where you turn to Corrigan, we planted them there - side by side - angled to face the highway and far back enough that they might last. My father dug deep holes and set them there. None of us knew how long they might last.

We went out to the cemetary. There was one bright star up in the sky, watching over us and sending us home.

This time as I approached the site, I wasn't sure what I would find. I didn't know if the crosses would even still be standing. But just as the intersection came into site, I could see them. Two crosses were standing, still side by side. I turned on my signal and pulled over to the spot I always do.

I got out of my car. As I walked up to the crosses the first thing that caught my attention was how weather-beaten they seemed. They were a little dirty, the black initials were fading, one was leaning to one side.

I straightened it as best I could. I tried to turn it like it use to be, but it didn't want to stay. The ground was muddy and soft, so I just turned it until it stood upright.

I stayed there for a minute, realizing that it had been a full two years since we put them here. I realized it had been two years since Pam gave me the blue bracelet that I still wear each day. I realized that life had not quit moving since then.

With a kiss good-bye, I headed back to my car. As I sat back in my car I looked at the crosses and realized they were much like us.

Much has happened since we put them there. Pam died in a car accident a little more than a year later and we've all had our ups and downs. We have suffered and cried. We have married and graduated and moved. Life keeps going and we just keep on keeping on.

Like the crosses, we are weather-beaten. But, we are still standing.

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed...Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."-2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 16-18

Sacredness of Christmas

There is something sacred about the sharing of Christmas. Perhaps because it is a time of celebrating our faith and the birth that has made us free. Perhaps because it is a time of family and a time to share with those we are closest to and love the most. There are those who sometimes do not have the chance to share Christmas with the ones they wish. Often my family has taken in those who are far from home and family on Christmas. In this, hopefully, we build a bond.

Three years ago, we were privileged to share this time with three special individuals: Dre, Blessed and Josh. Little did we know that we were being honored to share Josh's last Christmas with him. He died in a car accident only four short months later.

Tonight, as we gather, we will read the gospel telling of Christ's birth, The Night Before Christmas and we will tell Josh's story.

We tell Josh's story, so that we do not forget the sacredness of sharing Christmas with someone.

Sharing Christmas is not only opening your home, but your heart and saying, "Tonight, today, you belong with us and you are not alone."

Mike Cope preached a few Sundays ago about praising God in the storm. Christmas is bittersweet. We remember the birth of a savior, but we also remember those we have shared Christmas with that we can no longer be with. So we praise through our storms and we never give up on love.

Praise You in this Storm
by Casting Crowns

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of heaven and earth

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

You took my hand You showed me how You promised me you'd be around Uh huh That's right

I took your words And I believed In everything You said to me Yeah huh That's right

If someone said three years from now You'd be long gone I'd stand up and punch them out Cause they're all wrong I know better Cause you said forever And ever Who knew

Remember when we were such fools And so convinced and just too cool Oh no No no

I wish I could touch you again I wish I could still call you friend I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now'fore they're long gone I guess I just didn't know how I was all wrong They knew better Still you said forever And ever Who knew

I'll keep you locked in my head Until we meet again Until we Until we meet again

And I won't forget you my friend What happened

If someone said three years from now You'd be long gone I'd stand up and punch them out Cause they're all wrong

That last kiss I'll cherish Until we meet again And time makes It harder I wish I could remember But I keepYour memory

You visit me in my sleep

My darling Who

My darling I miss you

My darling Who knew

Who knew

~Who Knew by Pink

The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. -- Job 1:21

When the cold hits...

It's not suppose to be this hard. Not yet, not now, not anymore. But the cold weather has come, and for me, cold weather holds memories.

Cold means:
* basketball season
* time for fires
* dominoes
* walking in the cold
* hot cider
* warm cars
* Chicken spaghetti
* two-armed hugs
* Christmas...and Christmas Eve

but it's only October...

Forgiveness is not about fault

It is in our human nature to look for a place to assign blame, to place fault. When things happen that we can't or don't want to understand it is our instinct to find fault. This fault and blame only leads to bitterness and resentment.

As humans it is also our nature to take sides. When we only know one half of the story, we will always side with those closest to our hearts, right or wrong.

For more than a year and half now I have found myself nuturing this pain and resentment, letting it fester and find its home in a place where it probably doesn't belong. Though I know that in no way were the unthinkable events a direct consequences of the actions I blame, there I lay the fault.

It's time to let it go, to move on, to forgive. I realized that forgiveness is not about fault, but rather about letting go of blame. Sometimes we have to forgive people for things that were not their fault, simply because we have assigned them the blame.

Forgiveness is not an easy process. It takes a lot of time and a lot of healing, but it can also bring relief and healing.

Though you will never read my words or even perhaps know they are directed to you, I say this for my benefit...I forgive you. I am letting go of the blame I have placed on you, whether right or wrong. It's not about that. It's not about being right or winning. It's simply about doing right. The bitterness I've held has never affected you, only me.

And so I'll say one more time, I forgive you. Forgiveness is not about fault, but rather about letting go of the blame.

Forgive and forget. Relive and regret.

Empty inside

I know my mom wants me to write. Pam loved my writing. However, it's hard to write about what's going on when you don't feel anything yet. I have tried. I've done everything I can to feel something and yet I still feel nothing. I know this won't last long and it will be a flood when it's over, but for now I don't feel anything. I haven't shut down, but how can you write to let out the pain when it's just not there yet. I hate feeling numb. My friend Jessica asked me if I had cried about things yet and I told her not really. There were the initial reaction tears, there were a few tears when I thought about not being able to go see the family, but there has yet to be that good cry that comes with hurting. I do hurt...I think but I just can't feel it yet. I am sad sometimes. I just don't know when that breakdown will come. Soon enough. I'd put $50 on it coming the first time I see my dad, but if not I know that Sunday at church it's bound to pour, even though it didn't yesterday. I don't know, but I'm ready to feel something about this. Right now I just feel empty inside.

Forever in my heart....
I went down to Livingston on April 27 and spent the weekend of the one year anniversary of Josh's death with his family. On April 28, I went to Josh's grave before lunch, then we spent the afternoon eating hamburgers, hanging out on the dock and his mom, Pam taught me to jet ski.
Pam and I had become quite close over the past year. On Thursday, June 7 I received a phone call from my mom that Pam had been killed in a car wreck. I'm still very numb and very much in shock so I really don't have any words. I don't know how much one family must be expected to bear.
I was going to go back this summer for just a normal, fun vacation, one that wasn't so much a memorial trip. I guess plans have changed.
I would write more but right now I have nothing I can come up with to say. It hasn't really set in yet, but when it does, I know the words will start to flow.
I certainly love Liz and Harrison and Brig and Brigham. I'm going down to see them soon.
I hope the rest of you will pray for the Bigby family and for our family as we have lost another friend.
My mom has written more and so if you'd like to read her blog, please visit http://patsywatson.blogspot.com/.
MzB, I love you. You're forever in my heart.
--June 10, 2007

View from Heaven
Sometimes we find ourselves at a loss for words. We just cannot seem to put into tangible form all the things that are racing through our minds and all the emotions that swim in our souls. Sometimes we find that someone else, who knows us better than we know ourselves can hit a nerve and say everything we need to let out and sometimes the words come best in a song. This was shared with me this morning and it is perfect because I couldn't find these words myself, but I didn't need to. They have already been written for me.

I'm just so tired
Wont you sing me to sleep
And fly through my dreams
So i can hitch a ride with you tonight
And get away from this place
Have a new name and face
I just aint the same without you in my life
Late night drives, all alone in my car
I can't help but start
Singing lines from all our favorite songs
And melodies in the air
Singin life just aint fair
Sometimes i still just can't believe you're gone
And im sure the view from heaven
Beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in heaven,
Maybe we'll make it through one more year
Down here

Feel your fire,
When its cold in my heart
And things sorta start
Remindin' me of my last night with you
I only need one more day
Just one more chance to say
I wish that i had gone up with you too
And i'm sure the view from heaven
Beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in heaven
Maybe we'll make it through one more year
Down here

You wont be comin' back
And i didn't get to say goodbye
I really wish i got to say goodbye
And im sure the view from heaven
Beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in heaven
Maybe we'll make it through one more year
I hope that all is well in heaven
Cause it's all shot to hell down here
I hope that i find you in heaven
Cause i'm so...
Lost without you down here
You wont be coming back
And i didn't get to say goodbye
I really wish i got to say goodbye

<3

yellowcard - view from heaven
--June 11, 2007

2006 Music City Bowl Champions

GO CATS!!
C-A-T-S! Cats! Cats! Cats!

KENTUCKY 28, CLEMSON 20

2006
MUSIC CITY BOWL CHAMPS

First Bowl Appearance since 1999
First Bowl WIN since 1984

On, On U of K
We are right for the fight today
Hold that ball and hit that line
Every Wildcat star will shine
We'll fight, fight, fight
For the Blue and White
As we roll to that goal varsity
And we'll kick, pass and run
Till the battle is WON
And we bring home the VICTORY!!